Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
Randomize