Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
Last night, I accomplished the impossible. I pissed while riding my bicycle home without pissing all over myself. My Dutch friends gave me a round of applause and said I was now the king of holland.
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
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