You need to stop texting me at SEVEN in the morning. It wakes my one night stands up and makes for the awkward talk way too early.
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
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He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
A bitchslap is in order.
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
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