Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
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