I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
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