Whoa!!! Accidentally took a dump in chick's bathroom at Red Robin. 1 hr for coast to be clear. Women's farts sound like geese taking last breath. Liars.
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
Randomize