Can i not drive my cunt home
Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
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so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
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My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
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