oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
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