this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
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