he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
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