I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
I guess she found the pillow case full of vomit I hid last night: "Oh my God. Oh my God. In my fucking FRIDGE?! Really? Hope your dick falls off there's puke all over my food. Fucking die."
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
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