sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My motherfucking vibrator ran out of batteries right when I was about to orgasm. It's like he's possessed everything sexual in my life and has compelled it to NOT SATISFY ME.
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
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