At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
Oh, btw, UPS might come by. Drunk me ordered us $75 worth of gummy airhead starburst type candies. Whatever it is, it'll be delicious.
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
Randomize