I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
Here's a tip: do NOT chant "MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS." during sex because the Packers won against the Giants.
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
I’m so poor I’m filling a flask with vodka and bringing it to the bar.
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