Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
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