I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us?
Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
I went to bed early to get up and have a cup of coffee and watch a Sunday sunrise; and again you come home with no shirt and more stamps than my passport. Get the fuck up now, you are taking an Uber to waffle house. The order is in you name.
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