He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
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these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
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