Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
You told him you were auditioning guys for your new show: "So You Think You Can Fuck."
Best pick-up line ever!
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
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I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
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The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
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