I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
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