Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The beer is more important than you right now.
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
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