you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
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hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
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