i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
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