Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
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