i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
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