WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
Just promise me we won't die tonight. I can't have an autopsy report that reads "stomach contents: Tequila and semen."
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
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