She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
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Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
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