Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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