Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
im six kinds of drunk right now
I went to the gynecologist and they said, "you're the most fun person we've ever had," and i thought, "that's exactly why i'm here!"
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
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