You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
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