He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
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Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
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Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
I don't know how to explain to you that you tried to recreate the bit from the Dana Carvey show where a guy dressed as Bill Clinton breastfeeds a bunch of puppies
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
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