flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
All the alcohol I spilled on myself must have acted as a disinfectant or something. I haven't showered in three days and I still don't have a staph infection from sleeping on the lawn with you.
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
'valentine' just autocorrected to 'cake robe' in my phone
I think that summarizes my life up pretty accurately
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
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