Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
Randomize