Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
Can you come over?
Sex??
Sure but there’s also a squirrel in my garage I need you to take care of.
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