My friends, they love my intelligence
Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
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Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
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The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
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