I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
I told my mom happy mother's day then rubbed my belly and said "Oh, and happy grandmother's day too..." She started sobbing. You were right, that wasn't the best way to tell her.
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
Randomize