The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
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When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
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I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
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