is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
You went to the wrong car, tried to open the locked door, and started crying because you thought we were playing a mean trick. Then the owner came...
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
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