On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
Can you come over?
Sex??
Sure but there’s also a squirrel in my garage I need you to take care of.
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