Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
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