Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
Randomize