I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
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