dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
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