Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
Someone put a huge skyy vodka bottle in our washing machine. My roommate didn't see it and ran it. The washing machine split in two. #life
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
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