Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going to CVS to meet the Craigslist guy who is going to buy my underwear. If I don't text you within the next hour, plz assume that I have been abducted by a stranger with an underwear fetish.
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
Randomize