Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
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i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
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also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
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