I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize