And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
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Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
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