Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(917): View more from New York City

i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!

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(917): i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire! http://tfl.nu/yxp7

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(540): View more from Virginia

Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower

(571): View more from Virginia

She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task

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(540): Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower (571): She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task http://tfl.nu/xi7t

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(905): View more from Toronto

She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.

(416): View more from Ontario

Got yourself a keeper right there.

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(905): She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use. (416): Got yourself a keeper right there. http://tfl.nu/t8iu

Replies (26) Good night (4817) Bad night (728)
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(608): View more from Wisconsin

You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.

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(608): You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied. http://tfl.nu/sqjw

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(954): View more from Florida

pedialite and red bull = repair kit

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(954): pedialite and red bull = repair kit http://tfl.nu/fijn

Replies (22) Good night (3230) Bad night (586) Order T-Shirt
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(920): View more from Wisconsin

dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?

(1-920): View more from Wisconsin

no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?

(920): View more from Wisconsin

he wasn't. neither were you.

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(920): dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss? (1-920): no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom? (920): he wasn't. neither were you. http://tfl.nu/3ltg

Replies (16) Good night (6901) Bad night (1024)
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(301): View more from Maryland

just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.

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(301): just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play. http://tfl.nu/cpw3

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(858): View more from California

I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.

(619): View more from California

you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS

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(858): I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up. (619): you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS http://tfl.nu/a8ci

Replies (22) Good night (6566) Bad night (1062)
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(440): View more from Ohio

Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks

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(440): Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks http://tfl.nu/nonu

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(347): View more from New York

I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning

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(347): I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning http://tfl.nu/a79g

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(210): View more from Texas

happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.

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(210): happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal. http://tfl.nu/4nij

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(915): View more from Texas

Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"

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(915): Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches" http://tfl.nu/07la

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(647): View more from Ontario

A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".

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(647): A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe". http://tfl.nu/rgh4

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(815): View more from Illinois

I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.

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(815): I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn. http://tfl.nu/iw95

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(360): View more from Washington

DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!

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(360): DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!! http://tfl.nu/2uub

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