i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
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i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
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My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
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