Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
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